SO I was.. WAS.. fasting untill last night when I went with my boyfriend to a gathering with all of our friends.. He told me how thin I was looking and inside i felt so happy even though i know I still have a long way to go. Anyways, my fasting got all off track when he FORCED me to eat wing and other greasy nasty food. what the hell..

I just dont understand why he couldnt just have let me be. So therefore I drank even more alcohol just so I could forget about everything I was consuming..

Im back on track today though, I had a very smallbowl of cheerios, skim milk because i felt so hung over... which gave me more reason not to eat  but I just caved and had to.. but I am fasting again for as long as possible.. with some pilates and other exercises on the side.. 

Im going to Panama City with my best friend on March 1st and I at least want to be smaller.. I dont know how much I weigh because my parents get rid of all the scales after I came back from treatment.. So I am forced to just go by what I see and feel..

I love all you laidies, specially you, ANA..

If you laidies and gents could give me good fasting tips I would love you all even more... I find that I can never stick to low cal so i am better off if I just dont eat at all that way I ccan stay on track..

ily
x

I am very new to this live journal.. but I am in love with it..

This is my third day fasting.. I binged and purged once last night because i had to go out to eat with my brother.. blaah.. but alls i've had is coffee and water.. I have yet to work out today.. I feel so angry, my mother hid all of the meds and lax..

fdjsafhdjsa

i dont know what to say.. uggh

stay strong ladies..

So this is actually my first real post.. I found this through googling pro ana sites.. and I joined but it is confusing as hell.. I love all the inspiration though!

I am fresh out of treatment for the first time and Im at my highest weight since I started my ed.. Im so mad at myself for letting my guard down and going there.. I am in worse shape now then before I went in.. Im 349389043 times more obsessed with the disorder from being in treatment.. I dont think its suppost to work that way but it did for me.. I was in Bel mont for about 16 days and I finished the program so quick for my boyfriend becauswe all he did was make me feel like a piece of shit while i was in there so I forced every single meal and group there was to get the fuck out. I was so unhappy.

my ed brings me happiness, I just want to be thin again, so thin.,. I've been fasting.. this will be my second day.. though yesterday i slipped and binged and purged.. I get so worked up over my boyfriend.. I found so many things he had said to girls on the internet.. It just made me sick..  ugh..

Im going to keep strong though..

I love you girls..

ugh